There is a new Busch beer commercial on where a bunch of attractive people are hanging around drinking Busch and their backyard turns into a mountain valley. “Can’t You See” by the Marshall Tucker Band is playing in the background. It’s the greatest commercial of all time. At least I THOUGHT it was. While searching for the afore mentioned beer ad, I found the commercial above. The memories.
Not only does this Busch spot make me want to drink beer and become a cowboy, it makes me want to shoot any mean wearing a red sash. It makes me want to call down the thunder. It makes me want to shoot the owner of a saloon for displaying Ned Wright’s body out in front. It makes me want to drive native americans off their land. I would say it makes me want to catch passes from Troy Aikman, but I don’t do coke. The moral of the story? If a television commercial can make you want to persecute a nation of peaceful human beings, it’s an effective campaign. Enjoy.
We’re really excited with the new radio show here at the Fukerton. We would love to hang out with you guys to celebrate. So that’s what we are going to do. Friday, November 6th 2009 at 8:00pm. LA Bar & Grill in Arlington. It’s the first one of these we’ve done and if it works we will do more. Don’t make us look like jerks, friendos.
BTW, don’t get put off about that Arlington thing. This bar is super laid back. No pretentious Arlington douches allowed. The whole kast will be there and we hope you will too. We will have prizes and shit to give out and would love to tip a few with you. LA Bar & Grill has great food and Magic Hat on draught! Tough to beat that. Come on out and support the show. Hope to see you there and spread the word. Gotta thank our boy Sean for being such a strong supporter of the show. He’s helped out Othello quite a bit and really gone above and beyond to get the word out.
A few more details:
Friday, November 6th, 2009 at 8:00pm.
Location: LA Bar & Grill. 2530 Columbia Pike, Arlington, VA 22204
If you miss the show then you should come hang out with us. Maybe you got turned away from the movie, maybe you never made it out to an event. You won’t get turned away here. This event has nothing to do with WHFS or KZON or WJFK. Its just us and out listeners hanging out and having a few. FRIDAY! We are meeting up at the Carpool in Reston, VA. 8pm, 8pm, 8pm It’s a big ass bar that is really great and has never given me one fucking free drink. They have shuffleboard, darts and pool. It’s fucking huge so there is enough room for all. It wouldn’t be the worst thing if they knew how powerful The Fukerton and her readers are. If you need directions and details you can click here.
Celebrity Guest List: Oscar Santana, The New and Improved Main Street Mafia, Ryan the Hayseed,Aaron The Salk of Corn, Blue Shorts AKA: Blue DIck, Mike Bracken’s Ex-Wife AKA: Dane, Luke Thomas, Todd O’neal AKA The Naked Predator, Tanner Cooley, BDK, Bill Rohland, Emily Kral, Walgreens, Shaky Knee AKA Shaky Dick AKA McKnee, Rob Stark and with a very special guest BUZZ BURBANK!!
Couple guidelines. Don’t drink and drive (there is a motel right next door). Bring Drab a birthday gift if you can. He is poor so, giftcards to Sheetz or Target or McDonalds and shit like that are best. Wear your show shirt if you have one. I have a feeling there might be a FEW shirts left that could be given away at the event, but no promises. I think we have some other old station nicknacks to give away also. If you were a fan of the old lineup at JFK, I think you will be pleased. Spread the word and retweet or facebook or myspace this post so we have a good crowd. Brad Fukes drinks Magic Hat or Miller Lite and Oscar digs Jack and Cokes so keep that in mind. If you can’t come, please shut your fucking mouth. Thank you. We’re rich, biatch.
To me, this seems like the same thing as if Captain America was throwing a shield with the hammer and sickle on it. If Aerosmith played “Dream On, Crimson Jihad” at a concert. As if Stone Cold Steve Austin came out to “Afternoon Delight” and had some one throw him a couple of Zimas to chug. Speaking of drinking, nothing screams Red, White and Blue to me like an ice cold Budweiser. That’s what makes this next story so damnably frustrating. Beer Advocate with the low down:
Leuven, Belgium - July 14, 2008 and St. Louis, Missouri - July 13, 2008 InBev (Euronext: INB) and Anheuser-Busch (NYSE: BUD) today announced an agreement to combine the two companies, forming the world’s leading global brewer.
Anheuser-Busch shareholders will receive $70 per share in cash, for an aggregate equity value of $52 billion, in an industry-transforming transaction. The combined company will be called Anheuser-Busch InBev. Both companies’ Boards of Directors have unanimously approved the transaction. InBev has fully committed financing for the purchase of all of Anheuser-Busch’s outstanding shares.
Times are tight, I get that. Hops are in short demand, but what the FUCK is this world coming to? Miller is owned by South Africa? Bud is owned by France or Finland or some shit? Are they gonna slap clogs on those clydesdale horses come Christmas time?
What the fuck am I supposed to drink on the 4th of July??? Rolling Rock? Coors Lite? Nothing against those beers, because they get you drunk. When I feel American, which I have been known to feel, I want a fucking Budweiser or 8. Ben Frankin is rolling in his fucking grave, and I may dig the old man up and let him out to wreak his terrible, zombie, patriotic revenge.
Generally I think that Anheuser-Busch has its shit together. This throws my whole world into pandemonium. Apparently between now and Labor Day, AB is offer what looks to be a one way ticket to Homoville in a bottle. Read further if youve ever been curious about what Colin Ferrall looks like naked.
a line-up of three new flavors available in a 12-bottle variety pack, or a single flavor 6-pack. The flavors include Pomegranate Raspberry, Lime Cactus and Tuscan Orange Grapefruit.
Slashfood.com has a list of food that these new queer beers pair best with. There is a very easy testicle joke to be made here, but I am taking the high road. Who the fuck is going to buy these? Chicks? Isn’t this what wine is for? I catch shit for throwing a lime in a Dos Equis Amber, this is the equivalent of replacing the lime with a dildo.
Gears of War and Metal Gear have some competiton. I’m not a big fan of the Wii, it has a “To Catch a Predator” meets “Hentai” vibe to me, but who does not like this? They are offering a beer pong game for download on what ever their version of X-Box Live is. Now that sounds like fun right? Who could have a problem with that shit? Gamepolitics.com found some people and they are pretty close to where I am right now. Gen. Arthur T. Dean, who heads the Washington, D.C.-based Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America, was also critical of Beer Pong. Of the game, Dean said:
Beer pong is an activity that normalizes and encourages heavy binge drinking, shows blatant disregard for the dangers of alcohol poisoning, and can cost lives and result in injury.Furthermore, promoting the video game Beer Pong in the Frat Party Games series under a Teen rating ignores the fact that many youth involved in fraternities on college campuses are not of legal drinking age and that youth as young as 13 can purchase the game under this rating.
So lets just dump all the beer into the Potomac River, sew up women’s vagina’s and cut off our junk. ANY politician has the time and energy to focus on a Wii game that is based on throwing ping pong balls into cups should be impeached. The fucking WORLD IS ENDING, so what if I want toplay virtual beer pong and drink with teenager girl?! This country was built on drinking and underaged sex!! Who’s with me????
About 2 months ago I drove up to Odenton to have dinner at my girlfriends other boyfriends house. We stopped off at the liquor store and I saw something amazing. 3 different flavors of Miller Lite. I bought all 3 drank all 18 bottles then jammed all 18 bottles up my ass. They were amazing. I couldn’t wait for these new beers to find their way down to my local terrible grocery store here in VA. Now it looks like I’ll have to wait after reading this on Realbeer.com:
“Miller Brewing has delayed it’s plans to begin national distribution of the Miller Lite Brewers Collection.In a memo to distributors, president Tom Long wrote that recent test-market results “indicate a need for some additional and refined marketing elements with greater clarity about the brand’s promise of light beer refreshment combined with craft-style taste.”
I can wait for a little why longer but not much. My liver is a like a country that’s broken away from the former Soviet Union and and these new Miller Lite flavors are the terrorist groups needing to be harboured.
