John’s new movie came out this weekend. It stars Matt Dillon (who I like), Paul Walker (who I like), T.I (who I like), and a Skywalker and was based off “Heat.” This is all good stuff. John is also from Northern Virginia which means he rules & he’s going to put me in his next movie which means he’s smart. I enjoyed talked to him about movies.

Most people know Ol’ Thad goes down to the lovely Outer Banks of North Carolina a few times a year. He often opens his arms to have his friendos accompany him down. Most spit in his face (Shaky Knee, Othello, Ryan Osborne, Drab T Shirt) but the few that do come down are a part of something special. The Trash Plate Clique.

Sven Lloyd, a TPC veteran, accompanied us down to the beach again this time around. He would have slept till 4 if he was allowed to. We developed a daily bit to make sure he was awake by certain hour. Keep in mind, he had been through this 3 times before and STILL reacts this way.

It’s the Return.  RodKast is back. We delve into some dicey shit this week. The end of Monday Night Mafia, dispelling some questions about other Podcasts, Iron Man 2, J.L Bourne live in studio & Blackest Night for Beau Schembechler. We are working on getting the ‘Kast up on iTunes.  It’s a work in progress, so stick with us. Kast for the RodKast this week includes Brad Fukes, Drab T Shirt, Bartie Lang, John Schembechler & Rob Stark…

RodKast Segment 1 5/18/10

Rodkast Segment 2 5/18/10

RodKast Segment 3 5/18/10

RodKast Segment 4 5/18/10

RodKast Explicit Bonus Content 5/18/10 *

*Warning!! The final segment features naughty language. NSFW*

Quick hitter for The New Bit. Our mindset here at The Fukerton is to not deny our readers any of this gold mine. Judge us if you wish…

As a new home owner, one has to make sure one’s home doesn’t smell like portable toilet in a third world country. For me, that means I have to do some painting and I’m not very good at it. Got a quick video update from the den of ineptitude.

The New Bit is really taking off. These episodes feature Brad Fukes, Lavar Arrington, Bart Monk, @Sball500, Slacks Kinard, Beau Schembechler & The Artist formerly know as Blue Shorts. If you aren’t into this this bit, you have no soul. Or you are Drab T Shirt. Or both.

We came up with a great new bit that we like to do around the halls of 10800. So far the cast includes Brad, Bartie Lang & @Sball500. We don’t want to sound bragadocious but once you see the first episode, we are quite sure you will be hooked. We would like to say more, but we’ll let the work speak for itself.

PS: The voice you hear at the end of part 2 is the program director taking umbrage with “The New Bit.”

Was shocked to hear from our friend Roger Podacter that today is indeed the one year anniversary our the Mafia’s first movie premiere event.  We’re not sure if it is or not, but it gives us an excuse to post the original flick.  Not that we are cranking out Golden Globe worthy material now, but it is funny to go back and watch this after all the videos we have made since then. What started as just a whacky bit & and excuse to make videos for ourselves has evolved into….a whacky bit & an excuse to make videos for ourselves.

While we have a blast doing these, we wouldn’t make them if no one watched them, so we really want to thank all the Mafiamaniacs both new and old.  If you were at Hard Times Cafe that fateful night one year ago or you weren’t, thank you for humoring our labor of love.  So whatcha gonna do…when the Main Street Mafia runs WILD on you…

To view the original website of the film, click HERE.

Beau Leblanc came into the office the other day making outlandish claims. Everyone knows what that means. Time for another low rent video!

This subject matter of this video is how lame and woman like a certain house guest of mine turned out to be. At least he didn’t lie about writing a nationals blog while he was really in Bethesda with a chick he doesn’t really like. I need to get some new friends…

The thrilling culmination to the dramatic miniseries. Draw your own conclusions, but Blue Shorts threatens yet another persons job in this episode, and tries to escalate the conflict from words to fisticuffs. It would be sad if it wasn’t so DAMN entertaining…

Episode 3 builds the tension. Play a fun game during this episode called: “Guess when the horse’s ass shows up?” It’s a load of fun…

Episode 2 in the 4 miniseries. Some great cameos in this episode. For the record, I never said: “What’s up with this Ball-guy?”

This is a sweeping epic. Some quick backstory before the miniseries progresses. I am in the process of buying a townhouse. Originally Blue Shorts was offered the room in the basement to rent for more than a fair price. He and I had a falling out and to make sure I still had a tenant to differ some of the cost of the mortgage, the room was offered up to our intern: @SBall500. Shorts and I buried the hatchet, so to speak, bringing about the sticky wicket we find ourselves in today.

These riveting windows in the soul of conflict were recorded on the premises of 10800 Main Street. They star Blue Shorts, @SBall500 & Bartie Lang. Guest starring Grab Free Slurps, Beau Schembechler, Chad Dukes, Shaky Knee (AKA: Waggle Cock) and Emily Krall.

I have been assured by Beau & Ryan that the technical difficulties have been worked out for this weeks episode of DNR.  The description provided for us here at the Fukerton is as follows: “…It’s about net neutrality in segment 1 and a woman throwing out all her husband’s toy robots is discussed in segment 2. ”

Should be a barn burner, friendos!  Click here for Segment 1 & Segment 2.

So.  Here’s the plot.  A bald militant Romulan in a giant technologically advanced ship is hellbent on revenge and destroying the planet earth. Sound familiar?  Sound like that Star Trek movie you watched last summer?  You know, the one.  Everyone that said they hated Star Trek and it’s fans were virgins somehow claimed they LOVED this movie?  It starred all those good looking young people that looked EXACTLY like the original cast members of the TV show looked back in the 60’s?  You know that movie!!  The one with the gigantic budget, director and promotional push from the studio.  We ALL saw it.  And we LOVED it.  The problem is, not all of us are as dumb as the rest of us.  And by all of us I mean me and by “dumb as the rest of us,” I mean you.

What if I was to tell you that the movie described above came out nearly a decade ago? What if I were to tell you the goddamn movie was in the same genre and brand as that Star Trek movie with all those beautiful, young people that we all loved so much? In 2002, a movie named Star Trek: Nemesis came out in a theater near you.  It grossed 43 million dollars domestically.  It featured the cast of Star Trek The Next Generation, my persona; favorite slice of the Star Trek universe.  It was directed by Stuart Baird who also worked on Executive Decision, The Legend of Zorro, Superman II, Demolition Man & Casino Royal.  Why is this relevant to what is being discussed here?  Glad you asked.

You recognize that, don’t you TMZ reader?  It’s the giant Romulan ship from that new sexy Star Trek movie that you loved so much.  See that Federation ship confronting it on the right?  Looks pretty badass doesn’t it?  I agree, but I am burdened with the knowledge that it’s a direct rip off from the aforementioned “Nemesis.”  Have a gander at the image below and keep in mind it is nearly a decade old.

WOW!  Look at that!  It’s the Scimitar!!  A giant fucking Romulan Warbird confronting a much smaller Federation craft in a Star Trek movie.  It’s strange that in the same goddamn franchise such a coincidence could take place.  Couple with the plots of both movies being very similar, we are taking about dual lightening strikes here!  I am willing to give Abrams, Orci and Kurtzman the benefit of the doubt.  As someone that has dabbled in writing fiction, it is very possible for ideas to be inadvertently recycled.  That doesn’t mean the author recycling the idea meant to steal the concept.  If the theft ended here, Ol “Thad would have no beef.

There he is. Eric Bana’s character in that Star Trek movie you fell for, just like I did.  Nero was his name, I believe. He was an angry, bald Romulan hell bent on destroying the Earth in his mad rage against one of the most legendary characters in Star Trek lore.  You know know what is so damn funny about that? SO GLAD YOU ASKED!!  I’d be MORE than happy to tell you…

Well looky there!  It’s an angry, bald Romulan hell bent on destroying the Earth in his mad rage against one of the most legendary characters in Star Trek lore.  Only instead of being after Spock, this angry Romulan is after Jean Luc Picard.  That’s what’s so funny!  That isn’t Nero pictured above, it’s Shinzon!  A bald Romulan hellbent on killing us all!  What is HEEEE-LARIOUS is that the NEW Star Trek movie came out in 2009,  Shinzon appeared in “Nemisis”……………….IN 2002!

The situation is frustrating for any self respecting nerd like me.  The concept for this provocative new Star Trek movie that Lady GaGa fans flocked to see was not original.  It was rehashed from a movie that most of the douchebags that loved the new incarnation would call you a nerd for even viewing, much less liking.

Why is this a big deal?  It isn’t, I suppose.  Why do I care?  Because people are stupid and unaware of their surroundings.  I am constantly called names and mocked because I enjoy Star Trek: TNG.  It looks dated now and isn’t very relevant.  That does not negate the fact that during it’s run, “The Next Generation” housed some great plots, fantastic acting and warranted more praise that it received.   It’s fans do not deserve to be mocked by the same bandwagoning shitdicks that scream out thinks like: “Oh, Bra!  Did you peep that new Star Wars Trak movie with that hot black chick???? I was totally chilaxing when I watched that skiznictch!!”

Fuck that guy, that “Bra” that would say that shit.  Look at the posters for said movies.  I could make the argument that one was modeled after the other.  I assume the one in 2002 would not take cues from the poster created in 2009.  That same movie that the “Bra” loved was ripping off a movie he would mock you or I for watching.

THAT is why I wrote this and THAT is why I am wearing my white wig and slamming down my gavel at fans for the latest offering from the spawn of Gene Roddenberry.  Consider yourselves judged by Fukes, rubes.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010.  The Carpool in Herndon.  Join The Fukerton, The RodKast and the dirtiest players in the game: The Main Street Mafia.  This is their biggest and most ambitious film to date.  In their first picture, the battles zombies.  In the second, the fought The Predator.  In “Schism” they face their most difficult opposition yet.  What could challenge the might of strongest wrestling group ever to walk the halls of 10800 Main St?  Join us the 24th and find out for yourself.

When we say this is the most ambitious project we have undertaken to date, we mean just that.  We have no official backing from the radio station.  This is not a part of the current radio show.  We are making this happen all on our own through diligent work and some great people.  Creepy Justin, Sam Klemz, The Carpool, Chris Kinard & many more have worked hard to make this happen.  We need YOUR help to make sure it is a success.  It starts with you showing up and bringing as many friendos as you can but it doesn’t end there.

We need you to post this link you are reading right now. Twitter, facebook, Myspace, message boards, your own blogs, anything.  We here at the Fukerton realize it’s difficult to explain the concept of a wrestling group that operates in a radio station that fights fictitious characters and loves gay humor.  That’s why we provided THIS helpful video that shows the history of the Mafia.  Get your OWN Main Street Mafia shirt to wear to the premiere and help spread the word by click HERE. If anyone goes old school, street team and flyers a parking lot or a campus, you win a prize.  Just get pics and post them here on the Fukerton.

This has the potential to be a truly epic night if we all work together.  The Past, The Present & The Future will collide on February 24th.  Make sure you are a witness…

Creepy Justin was able to get an interview with The Natural. They not only discussed fighting, but Randy’s roll in the “The Expendables.” Special thanks to Legend Cage Fighting for helping set it up.

Andrew Robinson. Is that name familiar?  Perhaps not. He’s an accomplished actor that has been in several hit television shows like Deep Space 9,  The A-Team, JAG and Without a Trace just to name a few.  What he is best known for is the bat shit crazy Scorpio Killer from “Dirty Harry.”    A role so defining that it would influence the rest of Robinson’s career. Check out the video above. Great acting is when you can’t tell its acting. That’s what I’d call what is going down on that school bus. That doesn’t look like a man portraying a psychopath, it looks like a psychopath.

Why am I bringing this up? It’s common knowledge for most movie buff’s out there. The reason it’s relevant to me is because of another great flick that was on over the New Years holiday. “Shoot to Kill” starring Sidney Poitier and Tom Berenger. It’s a fucking great survival/action/manhunt flick that takes place in the mountains of British Colombia. At one point during the movie, there is a group of men traveling through the wilderness on a fishing trip. As the viewer, we are aware that ONE of them is the antagonist of the film. A cold blooded murderer. The issue is, you don’t know which one it is.

Cue Robinson. He is cast as one of the men in this small group. Any movie buff worth his salt recognizes the Scorpio Killer immediately. So naturally you assume he is the villain the second he shows up on camera. The director of the film: Roger Spottiswoode must have not only been aware of this, but used it as a way to throw viewers off the track. It’s only later in the movie when Robinson is pitched off a fucking cliff by the REAL killer does the viewer realize it was all a ruse. A cunning attempt to try and trick us.  It’s a wonderful nod to an epic movie bad guy. I suggest you watch both films is you haven’t. Actually if you haven’t seen either one, I suggest you find your own cliff in the mountains of Canada and throw yourself off it. Happy New Year.

Stallone, Li, Statham, Dolph, Stone Cold, Arnold, Willis, The Wrestler, Roberts and who the hell else do you need? I look forward to clutching my chest and keeling over as soon as the credits roll for this masterpiece. God Bess Sly for giving men what they want. Twilight is not an action movie. Spiderman is not an action movie. The Expendable is a motherfucking action movie. Rock on, Rambo, John J.

Last night I was quite the gentleman. I stopped pounding beers and playing children’s games early to spend some quality time in the sack with my lady friend. Any what do I mean by quality time? Take the kids out of the room and I’ll give you the steamy details.

As great as it must be to jump in bed with this luscious, stud of a man, it’s really put into perspective when you lay eyes on this video. Please take into account the book being read, the show on TV and the tattoo on Ol’ Thad’s arm. Yep, that Princess Dukes is a lucky lady. You can REALLY see why she is so smitten with me. Ugh.

Now I admit that I am a fanboy. I can watch Star Wars videos on youtube for hours with a summer squash crammed up my ass. The Departed is also a movie where any variety of fruit or vegetable can go in through the out door and make for a wonderful viewing experience. Which is one of the many reasons that this mash-up trailer is so amazing. First off, they some how manage to find scenes from the Star Wars franchise where the dialogue matches up with the mouth movement from the characters. I watched the trailer for The Departed at least sixty times when it came out and the edit here is almost flawless. It’s also great hearing Jack Nicholson as the voice of Darth Costello.

For the same reason I am refer to my dog Murray as a Womp Rat, I give t you The Starparted. Make sure you favorite the owner on youtube, this thing is epic.

If you don’t like this concept, you can shit in yer hat. I would like to see Han Solo star in all my favorite movies. Jaws. No Country for Old Men. Sweet Home Alabama. How great would that be?

The Trash Plate at the Jolly Roger. Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina. Eggs, Home Fries, Bacon, Cheese, Ham, Sausage, and Sausage Gravy. It takes a certain type of man to eat such a monstrous concoction. The Trash Plate Clique is a group of men that fit the bill. And this is their story.

Thanksgiving 2009.  VERY naughty language alert!

The most unrelenting, mindless force on the Planet. And then there’s the ocean. Filmed on location in Nags Head, NC at mile marker 10. Starring Blue Dick, Sven Lloyd, Walgreens, The Sand Serpent and Brad Fukes. Camera work and editing by Sam Klemz or “That Dude that Attacked Emily Krall” as we call him.