I will be dead by 2011.  I drink too much, eat to much, don’t exercise and don’t sleep enough.   It’s inevitable.  If I WAS going to be alive, I would be pretty excited about another Pirates movie.  While the first film was much better than the next two, there were sections of all of them that were very enjoyable.  I firmly believe Geoffrey Rush’s portrayal of Barbosa is as likable a villain as you will ever find.  Depp is phenomenal as Jack Sparrow.  He almost attains my level of rugged good looks with those dreadlocks and that eyeliner. Coming Soon with the details:

Two surprise announcements followed an equally surprising live musical performance by Miley Cyrus at Disney’s D23 Expo.

Disney Studios Chairman Dick Cook officially named Summer 2012 as the release date for Pixar’s John Carter of Mars, claiming that the film will, indeed, be live-action with intense special effects.

Following the announcement, Johnny Depp appeared in full Jack Sparrow costume, taking the stage and announcing a Summer 2011 release date for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, the new title for the fourth installment!

Miley Cyrus is a slut, but I would love to see a video of Johnny Depp walking out there.  Maybe drop a chest of cursed aztec gold on her face.

The initial rumor I had heard concerning this flick is that it would be almost Lethal Weapon like.   A buddy cop film for Pirates.  If it’s Rush and Depp, I relish that possibility.  I think I speak for all of us when I see Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly’s anorexic ass can go screw.  As long as Barbosa and Sparrow are swinging dicking it up on the Black pearl, I’m all in.  Unlike Jerry, I want to be a Pirate.

While the second and third films in the trilogy paled to the first, few things are better than a big budget pirate movie.  As is well documneted on this fine site, I am a huge proponent of extending the “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise for as long as Disney wants too.  My only request is that Captain Barbosa needs to be included in the films, as he is the finest example of a Pirate that I can think of.  Excluding myself.  With Gore Verbinski working on Bioshock, rumors have begun swirling on who could possible direct the forth installment of the Pirates’ franchise and those rumors are quite intriguing! Cinemablend with the big name skinny:

Geoffrey Rush and director Gore Verbinski are apparently both planning to return, but… and this is a big maybe… Tim Burton might direct instead. Tim Burton! If there is a single director who could make people excited for a fourth Pirates movie, it has to be Burton. He’s done so many amazing movies with Depp already, and might have the ability to make the new franchise as fresh and exciting as it was when the first movie came out. After all, Tim Burton is already making a movie for Disney, and if Alice in Wonderland is going well, you can see how they’d want to hang on to him.

While this is exciting, the second rumor is that Sacha Baron Cohen might play Jack Sparrow’s bother is a little perplexing to me.  Depp and Cohen had good chemisty in “Sweeny Todd,” that much is certain.  Ali G does not scream buccaneer to me.  Borat could not make be walk the plank, nor do I buy him swilling rum and comandeering ships.  Aside from that, I love the idea of injecting new blood into the franchise.  Tim Burton loves to put his darkened slant on his films and that sounds great for a movie about supernatural Pirates.   This is all exciting stuff and the Fukerton will continue to suffer from priapism keeping our readers updated.

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I love Muppet Treasure Island.  There.  It’s been said.  Now that it has been, this needs to be said: There should be more pirate movies.  I guess Cutthroat Island ran off the pirate genre for a while, but Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush certainly brought it back.  Now I am THRILLED to read that everyone’s favorite pirate; Edward Teach (Blackbeard to the unlearned), might be getting a movie based on his life.  Better yet?  It might be rated R.   Read on or swab my poop deck:

When Variety reported back in May that DreamWorks was looking into bringing a Blackbeard movie to the big screen, there were a few intriguing possibilities thrown into the equation for Pirate movie fans everywhere. Unlike Disney’s very successful Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy, the word came down the wires that this look into the life of British buccaneer Edward Teach would incorporate a more serious R-rated take into the world of piracy and less of the fantasy elements that we received out Disney.

I love pirates.  They were dying of scurvy so they just mixed their rum with fruit juice.  Baller.  For those of you that are not in the know, when a pirate ship would run up a red flag, it would mean no quarter would be given.  No prisoners would be taken.  That’s why I always wear red to the Old Country Buffet.  It’s everyman for himself.

Source: Mania.com

I like pirates.  Who doesn’t?  If you just said “Me,” close your web browser.  I love the original Pirates of the Carribean.  The next two wern’t as good, but still had pirates swinging around and swashbucking.  As I have been known to swashbuckle from time to time those three movies were right up my alley.  That was a rumor that Depp and Geoffrey Rush were going to do some sort of buddy cop/pirate movie for the fourth installment of the POTC franchise.  As Captain Barbosa was one of my favorite villians of all time, I was swatting my rod at the thougt.  Unfortunately, that Doesnt look to be in the cards.

Johnny Depp will reunite with “Pirates of the Caribbean” director Gore Verbinski on “Rango,” an animated pic that Paramount will finance and distribute.

The studio has slotted the film for a March 2011 release. Depp will voice the lead character, a household pet that goes on an adventure to discover its true self.

The other thing that is grinding my gears is that fucking Gore Verbinski should be working on the goddamn Bioshock movie??  Where the shit is that thing?  The last thing we need is another heartwarming CGI kids movie/pile of schlock.  Bioshock has the chance to turn around game to movie ports, and erase alot of bad flicks from out memory.  Piss on these two for denying us another Pirates movie, while simultaneously delaying the City of Rapture from coming the the big screen.

source: Comingsoon.com