So.  Here’s the plot.  A bald militant Romulan in a giant technologically advanced ship is hellbent on revenge and destroying the planet earth. Sound familiar?  Sound like that Star Trek movie you watched last summer?  You know, the one.  Everyone that said they hated Star Trek and it’s fans were virgins somehow claimed they LOVED this movie?  It starred all those good looking young people that looked EXACTLY like the original cast members of the TV show looked back in the 60’s?  You know that movie!!  The one with the gigantic budget, director and promotional push from the studio.  We ALL saw it.  And we LOVED it.  The problem is, not all of us are as dumb as the rest of us.  And by all of us I mean me and by “dumb as the rest of us,” I mean you.

What if I was to tell you that the movie described above came out nearly a decade ago? What if I were to tell you the goddamn movie was in the same genre and brand as that Star Trek movie with all those beautiful, young people that we all loved so much? In 2002, a movie named Star Trek: Nemesis came out in a theater near you.  It grossed 43 million dollars domestically.  It featured the cast of Star Trek The Next Generation, my persona; favorite slice of the Star Trek universe.  It was directed by Stuart Baird who also worked on Executive Decision, The Legend of Zorro, Superman II, Demolition Man & Casino Royal.  Why is this relevant to what is being discussed here?  Glad you asked.

You recognize that, don’t you TMZ reader?  It’s the giant Romulan ship from that new sexy Star Trek movie that you loved so much.  See that Federation ship confronting it on the right?  Looks pretty badass doesn’t it?  I agree, but I am burdened with the knowledge that it’s a direct rip off from the aforementioned “Nemesis.”  Have a gander at the image below and keep in mind it is nearly a decade old.

WOW!  Look at that!  It’s the Scimitar!!  A giant fucking Romulan Warbird confronting a much smaller Federation craft in a Star Trek movie.  It’s strange that in the same goddamn franchise such a coincidence could take place.  Couple with the plots of both movies being very similar, we are taking about dual lightening strikes here!  I am willing to give Abrams, Orci and Kurtzman the benefit of the doubt.  As someone that has dabbled in writing fiction, it is very possible for ideas to be inadvertently recycled.  That doesn’t mean the author recycling the idea meant to steal the concept.  If the theft ended here, Ol “Thad would have no beef.

There he is. Eric Bana’s character in that Star Trek movie you fell for, just like I did.  Nero was his name, I believe. He was an angry, bald Romulan hell bent on destroying the Earth in his mad rage against one of the most legendary characters in Star Trek lore.  You know know what is so damn funny about that? SO GLAD YOU ASKED!!  I’d be MORE than happy to tell you…

Well looky there!  It’s an angry, bald Romulan hell bent on destroying the Earth in his mad rage against one of the most legendary characters in Star Trek lore.  Only instead of being after Spock, this angry Romulan is after Jean Luc Picard.  That’s what’s so funny!  That isn’t Nero pictured above, it’s Shinzon!  A bald Romulan hellbent on killing us all!  What is HEEEE-LARIOUS is that the NEW Star Trek movie came out in 2009,  Shinzon appeared in “Nemisis”……………….IN 2002!

The situation is frustrating for any self respecting nerd like me.  The concept for this provocative new Star Trek movie that Lady GaGa fans flocked to see was not original.  It was rehashed from a movie that most of the douchebags that loved the new incarnation would call you a nerd for even viewing, much less liking.

Why is this a big deal?  It isn’t, I suppose.  Why do I care?  Because people are stupid and unaware of their surroundings.  I am constantly called names and mocked because I enjoy Star Trek: TNG.  It looks dated now and isn’t very relevant.  That does not negate the fact that during it’s run, “The Next Generation” housed some great plots, fantastic acting and warranted more praise that it received.   It’s fans do not deserve to be mocked by the same bandwagoning shitdicks that scream out thinks like: “Oh, Bra!  Did you peep that new Star Wars Trak movie with that hot black chick???? I was totally chilaxing when I watched that skiznictch!!”

Fuck that guy, that “Bra” that would say that shit.  Look at the posters for said movies.  I could make the argument that one was modeled after the other.  I assume the one in 2002 would not take cues from the poster created in 2009.  That same movie that the “Bra” loved was ripping off a movie he would mock you or I for watching.

THAT is why I wrote this and THAT is why I am wearing my white wig and slamming down my gavel at fans for the latest offering from the spawn of Gene Roddenberry.  Consider yourselves judged by Fukes, rubes.

When I was a kid, 100 dollars would have bought about 25 GI Joes.  It would have bought all four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the Turtle Van for them to cruise around with. Little did I know that 20 years later, it would buy me 4 action figures.  Of course in the late 80’s, I didn’t think by the time I was 31 that I would have practically the same interests as I did when I was 10.  But low and behold it’s 2010 and I stink.

On the shopping list was Dante and Rios from Army of Two: The 40th Day.  I plan on having them fist bump the moment they reach the Chad Pad.  I already had the Big Daddy figure so the next logical step was to pick up the Big Sister and Subject Delta Big Daddy from the Bioshock 2 series.  It’s gonna piss my girlfriend off when I drag a hose up the stairs and fill my apartment with water to recreate Rapture.  But I mean, what the hell else am I gonna do?

If you have any other suggestions, feel free to post them below.

On the shopping list was

Last night I was quite the gentleman. I stopped pounding beers and playing children’s games early to spend some quality time in the sack with my lady friend. Any what do I mean by quality time? Take the kids out of the room and I’ll give you the steamy details.

As great as it must be to jump in bed with this luscious, stud of a man, it’s really put into perspective when you lay eyes on this video. Please take into account the book being read, the show on TV and the tattoo on Ol’ Thad’s arm. Yep, that Princess Dukes is a lucky lady. You can REALLY see why she is so smitten with me. Ugh.

Now I admit that I am a fanboy. I can watch Star Wars videos on youtube for hours with a summer squash crammed up my ass. The Departed is also a movie where any variety of fruit or vegetable can go in through the out door and make for a wonderful viewing experience. Which is one of the many reasons that this mash-up trailer is so amazing. First off, they some how manage to find scenes from the Star Wars franchise where the dialogue matches up with the mouth movement from the characters. I watched the trailer for The Departed at least sixty times when it came out and the edit here is almost flawless. It’s also great hearing Jack Nicholson as the voice of Darth Costello.

For the same reason I am refer to my dog Murray as a Womp Rat, I give t you The Starparted. Make sure you favorite the owner on youtube, this thing is epic.

If you don’t like this concept, you can shit in yer hat. I would like to see Han Solo star in all my favorite movies. Jaws. No Country for Old Men. Sweet Home Alabama. How great would that be?

Gamespot has news on the video game adaptations of the upcoming Captain America and Thor movies being released by Marvel.  While the memories of the Captain America and the Avengers arcade game dance through my head, I can’t help but remain skeptical.  What with the recent steaming pile of shit Iron Man game based on Jon Favreau’s excellent movie.  I did enjoy Wolverine Origins Unleashed, but for every one game like that there are ten Superman 64’s.  Proceed trepidatiously:

Thor will debut in May 2011, giving the golden-haired god of thunder his first starring game role. The film will be directed by Kenneth Brannagh (Hamlet, Frankenstein), with Anthony Hopkins (Silence of the Lambs, Nixon) as Odin and Chris Hemsworth (Captain Kirk’s father in this year’s Star Trek) in the title role.

Captain America will follow his fellow Avenger into theaters and onto game shelves in July 2011. A cast for the film–currently titled The First Avenger: Captain America–has not yet been announced. While Thor will be starring in his own game and movie for the first time, the star-spangled supersoldier has been there before, albeit not for decades. The much-reviled 1990 filmCaptain America was released direct-to-video in the United States, while the following year’s arcade game Captain America and the Avengers fared much better, spawning ports for the NES, Genesis, and GameBoy, among others.

There have been so many bad movie based video games it is almost cliche for any gamer to raise the topic.  The games are often a rushed afterthought to try and juice more money out of a popular franchise.  There is still plenty of time to design a couple of fun video games to help build the fervor for two more giant Marvel franchise characters.  Let’s hope they don’t go all Rockateer on us…

Max Brooks is a genius.  Not only has he written two classic zombie best sellers, but he re-defined the genre.  I credit him with a great deal of the revitalization of zombies in popular culture.  Every day we see a new zombie novel, video game or movie.  The Fukerton got the opportunity to discuss all of these things with Max.  We also got an update on his new graphic novel and the World War Z movie. It was a thrill.

Click HERE to download the interview and click HERE to get Max’s new book. I’ve read it. It’s pretty fricken sweet.

Kotaku highlights one of the worlds finest spectacles of awesomeness. Personally I prefer the hacking, snarky R2 from the OG triliogy to the flying, flamethrowing, super hero R2 from the prequels. That doesn’t mean you can take ANYTHING away from everyone’s favorite astromech droid. The only thing that could make R2 (not R Tooey like that fucking clone wars cartoon labeled him) cooler is if you jammed him full of video games. That’s exactly what this genius did.  Listen to the inventory:

The shell of the droid is a modified, improved version of one of those R2-D2 coolers. But the inside consists of a projector (with video coming out of the correct “help me Obi-Wan Kenobi” hole), along with eight video game consoles. Eight. The pic is a blurry, but we can make out Dreamcast, N64, SNES, PlayStation, Genesis, NES and…yeah, maybe an Xbox and an old Atari as well.

If I had my druthers I would have used that Gonk droid that was shuffling around the Jawas’ sandcrawler.  Or maybe the one shit talking droid working on Jabba’s barge that thinks R2 is a feisty little one that will soon learn some respect.  The possibilities are endless!

The cast of characters for today’s Rodkast? Othello B, Ryan from Traffic, Stugy Beau Schembechler, Director of MvP: Shaky Knee and Brad Fukes. On the docket for discussion? Marvel Comics getting bought by Disney, the gushing everyone is doing about the new Batman video game and Beau threatening to cut his air.

We also do some good shitting on Othello and the aforementioned Relationship Beau, as well as discover a new word Ryan can’t say. It’s a whopping 45 minute segment, and there is a plethora of naughty language. NSFW, LMAO, ROTFL, LOL!!! Ugh.

We are also looking for new logos for the Rodkast.  The one to the right was provided our friend Lucas on facebook.  Lyrias was nice enough to send the logo on the main page.  Anyone that comes to the Fukerton on a regular basis knows what we are all about.  Just try to include some of the things we are enjoy (loving the Outkast angle) with thefukerton.com and Rodkast included in the design and you are good to go.  We might be able to scare up a cool prize for any good ones like a Fukerton, Big O and Dukes or 1067 The Fan t shirt.  You’ll defiantly get a shout out here on yer favorite blog named after ass eating.

Thanks for the effort and thanks for checking out the Rodkasts.  We ‘ll keep making them as long as you keep listening!  Click HERE for the Rodcast Episode 5.

Zombies don’t have infrared vision. And they aren’t from outer fucking space. This time, the hunters become the hunted…