If we should learn from our mistakes, I would never walk into a comedy club ever again. That being said…

I don’t pretend to be an expert in the complex world of mixed martial arts.  There are too many subtle nuances within the sport; no one should claim to understand unless they have trained for years.  Anyone who has seen me knows there have not been years of training involved in any aspect of my life.  All that being said, you don’t have to be an expert to know what you saw.  I can’t speak to what you laid eyes on last evening, but mine saw robbery.  Worse yet, robbery that is being half heartedly endorsed on the blogosphere.   I think I can tell you why and how it is happening.  It’s just as shitty as Shogun having no gold around his waist.

Sports fans are generally just that.  One group.  There are baseball fans that know more than others.  Football fans that are more informed than other football fans.  Basketball nerds and guys that just enjoy watching the game and so on. For the most part these groups get along with one another. That is not the case in MMA.  Uninformed MMA fans are some of the worst people on the planet.  These are jerkoffs drawn to the raw violence of the sport, do not appreciate its complex nature, and do everything to ruin it for everyone else around them  These are people that scream “…get him in the headlock!” or better yet “…rip his arm off and beat him with it!”  Both of those I heard at the last UWC fight at the Patriot center.  These are the homo habilis, drunken baffoons that file into every hooters one Saturday a month in their Beatdown shirts to ruin it for everyone.

Those people annoy me, but I  wear no a white wig and hold no gavel here.  I know people watch NASCAR for the crashes, hockey for the fights and MMA for the blood.  I’m not judging those people.  I am just acknowledging they exist to set up my next point.   The MMA elitists are almost as bad for the sport as the aforementioned meatheads.    These are bloggers, message board nerds and their ilk that let their narcissism blind them in their support for the UFC and mixed martial arts.  The first group of assholes discussed in this post are a necessary evil for this sport.  It’s means the sport is growing and becoming more popular.  Not all of these Affliction T-shirt wearing douches stays a douche.  They learn the sport the more they watch, they appreciate the sport the more they watch and they become living, breathing, walking soundboards for the sport.  They start telling their friends about it, and their friends, and their friends.  That’s growth, people.  That’s the goal of any business.

Some of snooty blogging sect doesn’t want that.  For one reason or another they feel reluctant to expansion.  To the point where they use their power of the public forum to not only speak down to fans that they deem “unworthy,” but they actually endorse shitty decisions like the one we saw last night.  How, do you ask?  I’d be MORE than happy to tell you.

We ALL know Shogun won the fight last night.  He was more aggressive, did more damage and executed the perfect game plan against MMA’s great enigma: Lyoto Machida.  For Rua’s efforts he was handed a unanimous decision for the other guy.  That was crime in itself.  The bigger crime was the passive aggressive defense of the judges cards by the blogs that cover the sport. The terms “truly beat the champion” and “don’t let it go to the cards” are flying around the internet.  BULL SHIT.  Then why have judges at all.  Let the challenger know that if he doesn’t knock out or sub the champion in the allotted time,  he loses.  I don’t by that shit for a minute.

It is my personal opinion that some, and even most MMA bloggers are obsessed with being contrarian when it comes to the meathead MMA  fans.  These meatheads are the bane of the existance of the bloggers and it affects their opinions and coverage.  What happened every time the crowd booed last night?  Joe Rogan would say something to the effect of “…I don’t know what they are booing, this is a great fight.”  Well, sometimes it was, sometimes it wasn’t, Joe.  Sometimes it was two guys trying to slap leg locks on one another who looked like they didn’t know what they were doing.  The people booing at Staples Center annoyed the piss out of me too.  That doesn’t mean they weren’t right at times.

The point here is that it is irresponsible for bloggers/messageboard members to play down the crime that happened last night in LA.  The masses think it was highway robbery and the MMA snobs don’t want to play to the masses.  They want to show how smart they are.  They want to show how much more they know about MMA than you are I.  That’s the only explanation.  Here is a comment on a blog I read on a regular basis:

The only time Machida was in any danger was when he slipped on the mat, and he didn’t even get taken down then. At no other point in the fight did I feel like Machida was in trouble.

There were multiple times where Machida had Rua in trouble but his excessive caution made him back off. But that is why Machida won; he put Rua in danger. Rua did a lot of leg kicks and impressive looking misses, but never really put the champ in danger. In that situation, the challenger should not win a decision.

It’s a disappointing performance by Machida—- he needs to be willing to take more chances to be a great champion. But he still won the fight. I firmly believe the compustrike stats will bear that out. The CSAC judges made the right call.

This poster is an idiot and clearly wrong. From Bloody Elbow FightMetric scored the bout 49-46 for Mauricio “Shogun” Rua over Lyoto Machida.  This douche just wanted to disagree with everyone and make it all about himself.  This is one of the more glaring examples but, the passive aggressive nature of some coverage of this horrendous decision is even more damaging.  The hardcore fans and bloggers need to realize that  it is more important to watch the sport and enjoy it than it is to separate themselves from fans they think are beneath them.  The goal of all MMA fans should be the growth of the sport.  We want this thing to be the NFL.  It won’t be if awful decisions that cost men championships are not discussed honestly and openly.  It won’t be the NFL, then it will be boxing.  And nobody wants that.

Sean Morley is an opinionated man.  I was a big fan if his Val Venis character in the WWE and I’m a big fan with how accessible he is. He helped us out when we were filming for MeM vs uWo and he didn’t have to. That’s why I was so pleased to see this pop up on Morley’s facebook page today:

More Great news! 1st, Mexico decriminalizes drugs in small personal use amounts and now the Argentine Supreme Court is decriminalizing small amounts of recreational drugs. The USA imprisons more people than any other country in the world. Yet we are …free? Mexico and Argentina are stepping in the right direction.

I love America and Sean is pretty extreme in some of his politcal positions, but he is dead right here.  Fucking legalize Pot.  For fuck’s sake it’s a plant.  It’s a plant that makes you want to eat and sleep and listen to reggae.  That sounds pretty damn good to me.  Look, I love to drink, but it makes most people want to fight and cheat on their better halves.  Or at least text message their ex-better halves.  

I don’t  have a dog in this fight, because I don’t really smoke pot.  I’m not BLIND though.  The violence along our border with Mexico,  the toubles in our economy and our swelling jail populations could all be helped one singular move.  Legalize marijuana and stop being silly geese about it.

Asinine gun laws DO NOT keep firearms out of the hands of criminals. They keep them out of the hands of law abiding citizens. They don’t allow us to shoot back. I hope the governing bodies in New York City give this man a medal. He certainly deserves one.   From the New York Times

They strode into the restaurant supply store in Harlem shortly after 3 p.m. on Thursday, four young men intent on robbery, one with a Glock 9-millimeter pistol, the police said. The place may have looked like an easy mark, a high-cash business with an owner in his 70s, known as a gentle, soft-spoken man.

People tried to see a closer view of the scene. A store owner used a shotgun to blast four armed men who tried to rob the business.
But Charles Augusto Jr., the 72-year-old proprietor of the Kaplan Brothers Blue Flame Corporation, at 523 West 125th Street, near Amsterdam Avenue, had been robbed several times before, despite the fact that his shop is around the corner from the 26th Precinct station house on West 126th Street.

There were no customers in the store, only Mr. Augusto and two employees, a man and a woman. The police said the invaders announced a holdup, approached the two employees and tried to place plastic handcuffs on them. The male employee, a 35-year-old known in the community as J. B., struggled with the gunman, who then hit him on the head with the pistol.

Watching it happen, Mr. Augusto, whom neighborhood friends call Gus, rose from a chair 20 to 30 feet away and took out a loaded Winchester 12-gauge pump-action shotgun with a pistol-grip handle. The police said he bought it after a robbery 30 years ago.

Mr. Augusto, who has never been in trouble with the law, fired three blasts in rapid succession, the police said, although Vernon McKenzie, working at an Internet company next door, heard only two booms, loud enough to send him rushing to a window, where he heard someone shout: “You’re dead! You’re dead!”

The first shot took down the gunman at the front. He died almost immediately, according to the police, who said he was 29 and had been arrested for gun possession in Queens last year and was the nephew of a police officer.

Mr. Augusto’s other two blasts hit all three accomplices, who stumbled out the door, bleeding.

One of them, a 21-year-old, staggered across 125th Street and collapsed in front of the General Grant Houses, a nine-building complex with 4,500 residents, one of the city’s biggest housing projects. Someone called 911, and an ambulance rushed him to St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital Center, where he was dead on arrival. The police said he had a record of arrests for weapons possession and robbery.

Another wounded man left a blood trail that the police followed to 125th Street and Amsterdam Avenue. The fourth wounded man was picked up, on the basis of witness descriptions, at 128th Street and St. Nicholas Terrace. Both were taken to St. Luke’s.

 

The names of the men who were shot — two dead and two wounded — were not immediately released by the authorities. The two at the hospital, both 21 years old, were in stable condition late Thursday night, the police said.

So the criminals got a pistol despite New York’s strict gun legislation?  Huh.  Imagine that.  Maybe Michael Bloomberg should sue Virginia again  for his state’s safety problems.  Or maybe they should give Charles Augusto Jr a statue and tell his story as a triumph is responsible weapons ownership.  Either way, until we live in a utopian society, the bad guys are gonna get guns no matter what you do.  We need to stop keeping the guns away from the honest Americans and look elsewhere for the cause of violent crime.

“An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.“  -Robert A. Heinlein 

Checking in from my self imposed weight loss Challenge to benefit The Armed Forces Foundation. If you would like more details on how to donate and not only support my fat ass, but our military, please click HERE. Thanks for the support, friendos.

I am a good American. I champion this country and slander people who don’t. But that’s as far as it goes. There are lots of men and women that do a vast amount more than that for our country and they need our help. On a completely separate line of thought, I need to lose weight. I think most people that have met me can agree with that sentiment. So our troops need help and I need to lose weight. What can we do about this very interesting situation we find ourselves in?How could we possible combine these two issues into one massive event that would start, let’s say….now?  I think know a way…

I’ll lay off the fucking complex carbs and waddle my fat ass over to gym. Every friday I will weigh in and take a picture of the results.  It will be posted here on The Fukerton  For every pound lost, I will donate 2 dollars to The Armed Forces Foundation. Who are they? Glad you asked:

Armed Forces Foundation is a national non-profit organization, which is listed asa an America Supports You Homefront Group resource by the Department of Defense.  Provides comfort and solace to Service members and their families for through financial support, career counseling, housing assistance and recreational therapy programs.

There programs are open to Active duty and retired personnel, National Guard, Reserve components, and their loved ones. 94% of all donations go directly to military members and there families

Donate in the name of Chad Dukes at www.armedforcesfoundation.org/donations/

If you just want to donate 10 or 1000 bucks, that’s cool.  If you would like to go pound by pound and make me earn it, that’s ever cooler. All you have to do is click HERE and then type in “chad dukes.” That will let them know you supporting my efforts to not stroke out while at the same time doing some good for some really good people. I have always let myself and those down around me when it comes to losing weight. There is no way I am going to let you down this time. I weigh 253 lbs. My goal weight is 180 and this promotion will exist until the goal is reached.

Even if it’s just a nickel a pound, support the people that are laying their asses on the line so that we can play video games and watch football. God bless you and God bless America.

I have listened to WJFK since I heard the Greaseman doing “The Six Minute Workout.” From there, I heard the end of Don and Mike where they would play the clip from Animal House where John Belushi would tell us the German’s bombed Pearl Harbor. From there I discovered Howard Stern and figured out just how much fucking better talk radio was than any other medium. When the Junkies took over evenings on WJFK, this guy’s world was knocked on it’s ear. These 4 guys somehow made radio sound like 4 clowns sitting around hanging out shooting the shit. The Junkies were so good at what they did, that it sounded easy. Which it isn’t. But I’m glad it sounded easy, because that’s what gave me the idea that I had a chance at being in radio also.

That is why yesterday was such a dichotomy. There were so many good thoughts and memories coming through on the phones and so many people coming down to the station to drop of gifts and say thank you. It was wonderful to see. Couple that with the excitement of knowing that on Monday I get to start doing afternoon drive on the biggest sports station one could think of and that added up to some really great moments. On the flip side of that coin, it was the worst day of my life. Not only was the show ending that had brought me to this point, but the station it self was ending. The station that has met as much to me as any team or movie or even friend over the years. The station ended while I was in charge of a 5 hour chunk of the lineup.

I’m no fool. Everything that was said on the air yesterday was true. This format flip is a smart move. It makes sense. It has more to do with money and the changing world than it does anything else. But it still happened while I was there and it pains me. So many talented people have been on that station. Opie and Anthony, The Junkies, Stern along with Don and Mike. That’s why it was very special when Mike Omeara agreed to call into our show yesterday. Robb, Buzz, Bethanne and Mike were all tremendous to us. I have listened to all the various incarnations of that show over the year and it was never something I took for granted; being welcomed by them into the fold. Mike’s call yesterday was exactly like the rest of the day. Funny, amazing and horrible. It’s something that I’m not ready to listen to again, but it’s worth a listen if you haven’t heard it yet.

I love WJFK and thank CBS and everyone involved for allowing my employment there to continue. If you were a fan of any of the amazing shows that have come through that building, than you should click HERE and listen to this segment from the show. If you would like to hear the final segment of our small part of WJFK history, click here.

Christmas is bittersweet for those of us here at The Fukerton. While we love everything surrounding the holiday, the day itself can be taxing. The problem that always seems to rear it’s head is that we are not enjoying the holiday as much as we should. That others are doing it “better” for a lack of a more eloquent phrase. Hence the Christmas special from 2008.

As most of you know, I am in radio. Working at a station like WJFK is an amazing experience. It has been a unique entity up until this point. Management was very open minded and embraced their talent trying different things on the air that no other station in America would allow. It’s this thing that made JFK stand out. One of the things they allowed me to do personally was a call in radio show on Christmas Day. It was born out of selfishness. I felt like shit on Christmas day no matter what gifts were given or parties were attended. I took my pain to the air, as I often do and reached out. What was the most rewarding part of that day was how many people were there to reach back. There were dozens of calls. Hundreds. Countless employees of WJFK stopped by to share their day and participate in the show.  It was amazing.  I realized I switched verb tenses a couple times in that paragraph.  You’ll have to deal with it.

Point being, this wasn’t because of me. It was because lots of people felt that way already. That their holidays were not like the ones on Full House or The Cosby Show. Sometimes they sucked. It doesn’t mean you are some pagan heathen. It doesn’t mean that you don’t like Christmas or your family. What you should take from this is that it means that you are not alone in the way you feel on that day . I am being melodramatic and a touch self indulgent, so for that I apologize.   I do feel strongly about this though. That Christmas I felt companionship and understanding from complete strangers. There is no other medium on earth other than radio that could have made that happen. Even if you think I am a douchebag or an asshole, I think that show is worth a listen. Maybe not for anything I said, but for how many other people responded.  Not only that, but we get into a sweet Dark Knight vs Iron Man debate.  Snoogans.  

If you’d like download the show for free, click here. To listen to them on the net click here.

Special thanks to Roger Caldwell Jr and Micah Paulk on facebook for sending over the links.

Most people that have read my blog or listened to me on the radio or seen my gay, wrestling, zombie movies can attest that I am not a poliitcal man. I am, however, a patriot. I have a great deal of respect for anyone that has ever held the office of President of the United States of America. I like Barack Obama. He’s very charismatic and easy to identidy with. He seems to be  working hard and time will tell if he can help get this great country out of the doldrums. I write this only to let you know there is no agenda with within post.

All that being said, Mr. President, could you please settle the fuck down? You are giving me a Mark Cuban vibe. Cuban is ,in essence, a fan that fell into power. He worked hard for his power and I think he is a good owner. But he is a cheeseball. He acts like a rube at times. I don’t want to call the President a cheeseball, but for christ’s sake this maybe too much. It seems that our great leader is now going to throw out the first pitch in this year’s Major League Baseball All Star Game. Obama is not the first president to take this opportunity and I’m sure he won’t be the last.  I’m just not sure we have had a leader of this magnitude take so MANY opportunities.  MLB.com with the details:

President Barack Obama will throw out the ceremonial first pitch for the 2009 All-Star Game at Busch Stadium in St. Louis on July 14, Major League Baseball announced on Tuesday.

Obama will be the fourth U.S. president to throw out the first pitch in the Midsummer Classic — joining John F. Kennedy (1962), Richard Nixon (’70) and Gerald Ford (’76 and ‘78) — and will be the seventh president to attend an All-Star Game. The first was Franklin D. Roosevelt, in 1937.

This individual act is not so egregious I suppose.  I guess what I’m wondering is when is enough enough?  Making March Madness picks on ESPN?  Going on TV every other week?  Front row at Wizard’s games?  This is shit I would be doing if I was President.  And I’m a horse’s ass.  One of the things I find most identifiable with Obama is he is knowledgable about shit that I care about.  Sports and hip hop.  He likes burgers at Five Guys.  He smokes.  I would love to hang out with him at a bar.  Again though, the question is when is enough enough?  He is the most powerful man on the planet.  He seems VERY preoccupied with making sure everyone likes him.  I’m not sure if that is something that Commander in Chief should be concerning himself with, and while we are at it I’m not sure he should be going on Letterman.  

I would like to reiterate that I like Obama and I am a bonehead, so my opinion means as little as most.  I just know that something about this rubs me the wrong way.  Not like herpes, more like heat rash.  Call it idol curiosity to find out what others think…