I guess this scene was cut out of Basterds. Not sure why. It seems that DC area radio and football was very important in Nazi occupied France during World War 2. Luckily we here at the Fukerton are the lint trap of the Hollywood industry. Enjoy.

Our friend Russell was nice enough to put my appearance on News Channel 8 up on youtube. The focus is Lavar, as I’m sure you can understand, but I thought it went well. Glenn Harris is a god dude and I have watched his show several times so it was a thrill to be a guest. I don’t look thin, but I hope you will have a gander anyway.

From the “whhaaaaaaaaaaa?” files.   ESPN.com with the outlandish claims:

It’s a possibility, hinging on whether Miami Dolphins owner Wayne Huizenga’s sale of his majority ownership of the team goes through, sources told ESPN senior NFL analyst Chris Mortensen. When Parcells joined the Dolphins as executive vice president of football operations last year, his deal included a onetime out clause that would allow him to walk away, with the rest of his $12 million guaranteed contract fully paid, no strings attached, if Huizenga were to sell the team.

Earlier this year, Huizenga agreed to sell 95 percent of the Dolphins to New York developer and team part-owner Stephen Ross. Huizenga hopes to close on the deal by early January to ensure that the capital gains taxes on the sale remain at 15 percent before President-elect Barack Obama takes the oath of office Jan. 20, Mortensen reported.

Parcells’ contract specifically states only Huizenga can be in authority over him. Once Ross officially becomes majority owner, Parcells has to notify Ross within 30 days that he intends to exercise his walk-away clause and collect the full balance of $9 million, Mortensen reported.

At that time, Parcells would be a free agent. And any team that wants his services would not owe compensation to the Dolphins, according to the report.

Among the teams sources say are on Parcells’ radar are the New York Jets, Detroit Lions, Cleveland Browns and the Oakland Raiders. However, if Parcells’ son-in-law, New England Patriots vice president Scott Pioli, is interested in any of those jobs, Parcells is unlikely to wind up with that team, Mortensen reported.

I was thinking to myself as I was watching the horrible, meaningless, limpdick win over the Eagles: “Self, I think I’ve seen some of this type of thing before.”  I made a quick list, and feel free to add your own if you feel the inspiration.

How many times have you seen Antwain Randle El dance back and forth after fielding a punt only to throw himself on the ground for no gain?

How many times has the Redskins Defense had to go right back onto the field because the offense goes three and out?

How many times have you seen Jason Campbell throw a 3 yard pass on 3rd and 9?

How many times have you seen Clinton Portis wallow on the field in the pain after a one yard gain only to be out there the next series?

How many times has Jim Zorn hitched his tight khakis up to nipple level and gesture awkwardly after a costly fumble?

How many times has Greg Blatche looked like old Mother Hubbard on the sidelines?

How many times could you and 10 of your friends score more points that the Redskins offense any given Sunday?

How many times has Jim Zorn not worn a hat on a frigid day so his blocky haircut would not be messed up?

How many times has Chris Cooley earned a probowl invite he did not deserve?

How many times have the Redskins lost to one of the worst teams in organized sport?

How many times has Jason Campbell shown any emotion after he has fumbled, thrown an interception, gone three and out, won a game, killed a leviathan or slaughtered a village full of Burmese?

How many times have color commentators called Jason Campbell unflappable when he just looks autistic walking off the field?

How many times has the Redskins defense worn down in the fourth quarter because they have spent more time on the field than either goal post?

How many times have the rednecky, white trash Terps fans that show up at Skins games made all of Washington look bad when they yell “Hey you suck” when Rock and Roll Part 2 is played?

How many times have I put up with Dan Snyder and Vinnie Cerratto’s bullshit and when will it finally be enough to make me become a Falcons fan?

Adam Shefter is reporting that the Redskins are bringing in old ass Shaun Alexander because Ladell Betts has a hangnail.  The only reason the Skins should sign this relic is because Dan Synder is about to blow his stack with the lack of free agency aquisitions in the offseason.  League minimum or bust for this washed up Bama product.

Former NFL MVP Shaun Alexander will visit the Washington Redskins on Tuesday and undergo a physical with the team. If all goes according to plan, Alexander could be a Redskin by the end of Tuesday. The Redskins are seeking another back with Ladell Betts nursing a knee injury. Alexander had drawn interest from the Bengals and Saints, but neither had opted to sign him. Now the Redskins could. Tuesday could be Alexander’s day.

The only way this doesn’t suck balls is if the Redskins give Alexander for a low price and make the playoffs.  If Betts is nicked and Portis is getting the MVP like workload he seems to be getting, having a former Madden coverboy might not be a terrible idea.  As a fan, I can see through this bullshit though, to the heart of the matter.  Snyder will never change his spots.  He proved it this offseason by ignoring the D-line in the draft, and bringing in a big name with nothing left in the tank.  Dan Snyder is the worst owner and sports and doesn’t mind exposing our loyalty as fans financially to subsidize his terrible transactions.  Fuck him.  Hail to the Redskins.

Clearly the Cowboys are the cocks of the walk right now in the NFL. Just turn on ESPN, they’ll tell you. Of course they are still arrogant douchebag, boisterous convicts as well, but they are also good at football. I hate the Cowboys. The team has no honor and they will sign any scumbag off the street. Their fanbase is comprised of a bunch of bandwagoning front runners, none of which have set foot on Texas soil, much less entered that shitbox stadium. If you are are from Dallas and love the Cowboys, God bless. It’s just that I have yet to meet you. Again, as I have stated before, every Cowboy fan I have met is from Largo, MD. Or Mexico.

All accurate slandering aside, the Cowboys are better than the Redskins right now, clearly. They have had the same system for longer, they spent more money in the offseason and they have a lot of talent. I am not looking for a win on sunday (of course I would take the upset). What I am looking for is a close game. I don’t care if it’s the defense holding that high powered offense under 20 points or Jason Campbell hanging with Romo in a shoot out. The bottom line is this is the 4th game for this offense and Jim Zorn’s 4th game as a head coach. The Redskins are 2-1 when I thought they would be 1-2. If they can compete with a team as good as the Cowboys this early in the season, that means that their second meeting could go either way. It also means the Redskins are better than we all thought they would be. Game two between these rivals is in DC, BTW.

The one thing the Redskins have going for them is that Tony Romo can’t hold on to the football. It flies out of his hands all the time. Up until this point, it always seems to bounce right back INTO his hands when it flies out, but no one is that lucky forever. The Cowboys have 3 impressive wins, but that D has injuries, Romo turns the ball over, and the Redskins have played the Dallas tough as of late. Washington has won 4 out of last 6 matchups and they don’t seem to be scared of the Cowboys like they were under Norv Turner. In this game I am looking for the Redskins to try and slow down Marion Barber and limit the long passes to Terrell Owens. Run the Ball, keep Campbell of his back and score in the redzone. Now that’s all well and good to ask for, it will be interesting to see if it can be done.

I don’t mind if the Cowboys are better than the Redskins in September. I just would like to see the Skins have a winning record and some confidence when they meet again in November. Hail to the Redskins.

For the record, I was rooting for the Giants in the Superbowl.  I always pull for the NFC East when the Redskins get knocked out of the playoffs by the Seahawks which they always do.  That being said, they are the WORST Superbowl winning team of all time.  One of the reasons they were able to pull it off was their tremendous defensive line.  2 of those players are not going to play this year as of right now. ESPN with the good news for Jason Campbell
 

An MRI on Sunday showed that Umenyiora tore the lateral meniscus in his left knee in a preseason game against the archrival Jets on Saturday night. The two-time Pro Bowler will have surgery on Tuesday at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York City. The recovery period is about four months.

A source who’s name rhymes with Slab Stream Quarts tells me the Giants have already contacted retired defensive end Michael Strahan in an effort to shore up a now questionable D-line.  Fuck em, is what I say.  Fuck em says I.  As far as evil goes, the Giants arn’t on the level of the Cowboys are even the Eagles, but they can go screw, no doubt. The Giants open the season on Sept. 4 against the Washington Football Redskins, and anything that helps the Skins not lose by 30, I’m in favor of.

It’s a stunning developement that has shocked, SHOCKED……the world.  The Redskins have traded a high draft pic for an older big name player.  Only this time, not only is he past his prime and not really want to play football, but he’s also a ballroom dancer. Redskins.com with the scoop:

he Redskins completed a blockbuster trade on Sunday evening, acquiring defensive end Jason Taylor in a trade with the Miami Dolphins.  In exchange for Taylor, the Redskins sent a 2009 second-round pick and a 2010 sixth-round pick to the Dolphins.

Taylor has been one of the premiere defensive linemen in the NFL since he entered the league in 1995. He has made the Pro Bowl six times, including the last four years

In all honesty, it’s not a terrible move.  Taylor looks like hes got a lot left in the tank and our D-line is in shambles.  The problem is, this fucking issue should have been handled in the draft.  LAST years draft.  And this years draft.  How do you take 3 receivers with your three pics when your D lineman are all 55 years old and splitting their knees open.

On the other hand, if he brings that broad he’s pictured with above, and I can treat he hindquarters like a chinese buffet, I’ll approve the deal.

If you arn’t a Redskins fan, say five Hail Mary’s.  If you ARE a Redskins fan you know that we have a pretty good fucking pass catching tight end in one Captain Chaos.  That didn’t stop our zilch owner and glorified QB coach from taking a goddamn pass catching tight end in the second round.  Who then promptly started showing up late for practice. 

Good news though they signed him!  Now, if he can cover wideouts, rush the passer and protect Jason Campbell, everything will work out. 

The Redskins have agreed to terms on a contract with rookie tight end Fred Davis, the team announced on Saturday.

To make room for Davis on the roster, the Redskins released tight end Tyler Ecker. Davis is the last of the Redskins’ 10 draft picks to sign with the club.

The New York Giants just won the Superbowl.  They basically did it with just a good front four that can rush the passer and plug the run.  The Redskins draft a bunch of guys that play wideout for a team with NO ONE that can rush the passer and plug the run.  It’s abused wife time again for Skins fans this season.  I better get supper ready and make sure there is plenty of Milwaukee’s Best in the fridge.  Wouldn’t want another black eye as the Redskins are destined to go 6-10.