I would eat this cereal every morning for breakfast if Augustus Cole would chainsaw his way through the wall of my house.  BTW, cast Terry Tate as the Cole Train in the Gears movie right now.  He does a little HGH and he looks exactly like his gaming counterpart.   Good Shit.

Part 1

Part 2

This guy could not be any cooler.  Futurama fanboys around the world would like to wrap a fist around Bender’s robotic hog.  Not to mention the fact that John is the voice of the coolest character in the history of video games.  Dimaggio raps with us about Gears of War, Bender, the NFL, drinking and nerds.  It was a real pleasure.  The highlight here at The Fukerton is the ID \that John cuts in Marcus’ voice for our website.  Never in my life have I been as excited to be told that I’m made of shit.

Well, in the time since I recorded the vlog and when I posted it, I played about an hour more of the game.  It friggen rules.  Cole Train’s entrance is epic.  I won’t give too many spoilers.  I wouldn’t want many, but if you want to know NOTHING about the game before you play it, skip the vid.  It is just the best franchise out there right now, until Bioshock 2 comes round.  Revel in this gaming fans.  We are in a golden age.

So i’ve been walking around with a 24 hour erection since mid-july with the knowledge that Gears of War 2 was finally nearing release in these fine United States.  It appears that I’m not the only one with a man crush on Marcus Feenix.   The preorders for Gears 2 are going well.  Very well in fact.  So well that the only game in history that has made more money in preorders alone is Halo 2.  And we are still weeks away from the game’s November 7th release date. In an interview with Gamepot,  Cliff Bleszinski lies through his teeth and says that a third installment in the wildly popular franchise is not definate:

In a GameSpot interview published last week, Epic Games’ Cliff Bleszinski said, “If [Gears of War 2] comes out and sells like hotcakes and has great reviews, then we’ll consider doing another one.”

It appears as if the sales part of that equation will be fulfilled–and then some. This week, Microsoft confirmed that preorders for Gears of War 2 have surpassed those of the original Gears of War. The gap between the two games’ presale figures will only grow, given that the sequel still has more than three weeks left before its scheduled November 7 launch in the US.

Although Microsoft would not specify preorder numbers, at the time of Gears of War’s release, GameStop called it the second-most preordered Xbox game of all time, behind only Halo 2. The original Epic shooter also topped 1 million sales within its first two weeks on shelves.

The only way they don’t make a Gears of War 3 is if the Locusts actually emerge from the ground and start attacking humanity.  They are printing money over there at Epic.  The big story here is thath the economy is in the crapper, but games are still killing.  We’re talking record profits.  Microsoft is on the verge of having a great stable of exclusive games that are being released every year.  Gears 2 this year, Bioshock 2 next year and Halo Recon whenever.  Couple that with the announcment that Metal Gear Solid 4 is already in production for the 360, XBOX looks to be on the verge of taking over gaming.  Sony has lost all their exclusives for the most part, and Microsoft is just further ahead in the next gen era.  Get ready, meat shields.  It’s about to be a brutal winter for the Locuts.

Gamespot got some hands on time with GOW2 and the shit is really hitting the fan.  For the record, we already know there are new weapons, new enemies, new game modes, chainsaw duels, Brumaks every fucking where, meat shields,  bigger plot, smoother animations and chubby DJ/blogger sperm all over the cover of the sequel. I’m sure some of you have heard about this shit but check out some of the new game modes:

Wingman is a 10-man game that breaks the group up into teams of two, assigning each pair the same character model. Your goal is simple; kill anyone who doesn’t look like you. Guardian breaks you up into two teams and Gears is randomly assigns one member as the role of leader. Your goal is to take out the opposing team’s leader while protecting your own. While your leader is alive, you’ll respawn every 15 seconds, but that stops once he’s taken out. Submission tasks opposing teams with finding and taking a fallen non-player character hostage. Your goal is to drag him to a set point on the map and keep him there for a set period of time.

The REAL question with the next installment in Gears is how much the franchise has grown.  Clearly Halo has a higher appeal to younger gamers despite the M rating.   Has gears closed the gap?  The sales figures will tell.  I fucking love games that are built solely for adults.  Halo had it’s time, but with all the blue blood and pink armour, I felt like I was playing as the Green Ranger, not the Master Chief. 

Gears is by far the best multi-player game I personally have played.  I like the ability to keep 12 year olds screming the N word out of your games, and I like the ability for a layman to be able to have enough success as to not get frustrated.  I also would like to take Dom to a nice B and B, maybe in upstate?  Marcus would burst in and ask how we could do this to him.  *tear*